I just read this article and wanted to respond: http://mic.com/articles/123850/8-brutally-honest-reasons-why-millennial-women-are-staying-single
When I first saw the title, I thought perhaps this was an article written by someone on the alternative right about what is wrong with millenials (the “brutally” part gave me that notion), but what I found quite the opposite.
In short, this is an attempt at nihilistic apologeticism. It is written from the perspective of someone who is clearly young and (at present) oblivious to the passage of time.
The thing about time is that it has a way of catching up with you, and the way you are now is not the way you will be ten years from now, either mentally or physically. I’m in my 30’s, and I feel (for the most part) about the same as I did ten years ago, but the mirror tells me that I’m not the same. The problem with a lot of millenials, aside from the sense of entitlement and overabundance of emotion, is that they do not think about the future.
The future is always there waiting for you, unless you die, in which case you’re on the other side of eternity and there’s no going back. But before then, you do have some control over your life, and it’s up to you to make intelligent decisions.
That being said, let us go through this point by point:
A 2014 Pew Research Center report found that a mere 26% of young adults between the ages of 18 and 32 were married in 2013, compared to 48% of baby boomers and 36% of Generation X-ers who tied the knot at the same age. But it’s not just that more millennials are unmarried; we’re unpartnered too. A recent Gallup poll found that a whopping 60% of women identified as single.
If you do not be fruitful and multiply, you will be replaced by those who are. If you place no value on anything other than your personal, instant, gratification, and live entirely in the present, then it probably doesn’t matter to you, FOR NOW. The problem is that it may matter to you later on once you have matured, but by then it might be too late.
But instead of being mopey sad-girls about it, plenty of young women are totally cool with this arrangement. “I just feel like I’m happier and more myself [when I’m single],”
This is the same mentality that causes a lot of younger girls to get tattoos. You may like that tattoo right now (I never liked women with tattoos, that was always an instant deal breaker for me), but later on when you get older you may wish you hadn’t permanently marred yourself. When you get really old the tattoo isn’t even going to have the same shape. Similarly, being single for a 20 year old is quite different than being single for a 30 year old, or a 40 year old.
1) We’re busy starting our careers.
If your mother had made the same life choices that you had, you would not have existed. By choosing to remain single and not reproduce you are throwing away the hard work and sacrifices of all of your ancestors who came before you.
Also, when I hear women saying that they are more interested in a career than marriage, I have to ask what the point is? If you work, and fail to reproduce, then all of your money will probably be taken by the government, and everything you have worked for will be for nothing.
But then, I have to wonder what your idea of “work” is, as the general work ethic of the millenial generation leaves much to be desired.
“I went to grad school and am still kind of getting my footing career-wise, so I think I’ve also avoided looking for a relationship because I want to be more settled in my career first,” Jaime, 30, told Mic. “I wouldn’t necessarily want to date the male version of me — someone who doesn’t have their job life in order. So I don’t feel right being out there trying to date someone when I just don’t feel like I have things more in order and settled.”
–Men don’t care if you are “settled” or not. When it comes to women, the two primary resources men are interested in are youth and beauty. They don’t care about your career or money. Some care, because it helps to have more money when you get married, but your primary selling point is youth and beauty, and the more time you let get by the less of that you have, and having lots of money will not make up for not having those two essential resources.
3) We have obscene student loan debt — and we don’t want to deal with anybody else’s.
Why do you have this debt? I hope that whatever degree you got is worth the amount you paid into it in terms of time and money.
That being said, as a woman you are not responsible for the man, he is responsible for you. Your debt may harm your marketability, but if you are young, have good looks, a proper attitude, and useful household skills, then you will have your pick of the men, and they will take care of your debt.
Time is your enemy. At 25 with debt you are actually more marketable than you are at 35 with no debt. If I’m a 35 year old man looking for a wife, and I have a choice between a 25 year old and a 35 year old woman, then, if looks are equal or close to equal, I’m going for the 25 year old. The 25 year old has a longer window of opportunity for reproduction and sex, and at her age her body can recover more easily from the rigors of child birth.
4) We aren’t particularly religious.
Sociological researchers suspect millennials’ general disinterest in religion is one of the key factors driving down marriage rates, but it might also contribute to the growing comfort young women feel leading their own single lives.
–Something which leads to extinction is not an improvement, but if you don’t care, then there is no counterargument which will make you care other than TIME.
The first command God gave was to be fruitful and multiply. So yes, if you don’t believe in God or an afterlife then you might be less likely to care about the future.
But again, the person you are at 20 is not who you will be at 40, and regardless of what you believe about God you will probably want companionship later on, and by 40 it’s probably too late.
After all, without adopting certain religious principles that place a man at the head of the household, it’s probably easier to feel secure being the showrunner of your own life.
–That attitude only makes you less marketable, and limits you to men who you will never be able to truly respect.
5) We haven’t met “the right person.”
This is where an over-inflated opinion of self combines with a limited understanding of reality to create an unattainable standard.
Rebecca, 24, told Mic. “I would consider marrying if I met someone with similar enough interests and personalities that I wouldn’t have to compromise too much of what I wanted to be with them.”
I find that the bulk of millenials, especially women, have very few interests beyond “what’s popping.” By that I mean, whatever the latest pop-culture fad for young people is. I recommend reading books, getting into physical fitness, and listening to both older forms of music and foreign music.
When it comes to books, don’t read self-help and romance novels, read history and science. By science, I don’t mean things like “The God Delusion,” i mean scientific articles, press releases from NASA, or maybe even “Popular Mechanics” (which I used to read as a kid), or “Popular Science.”
My reading material at age 10 was more intelligent and advanced than that of the average millenial today, especially millenial women.
One problem I had with women when I was young, is that most of them didn’t have the intelligence to keep up with me in conversations. Most guys don’t care about what your “frenemy” wore to work, or what Sally Mae said by the water cooler. If you just want to be viewed as a husk which exists to warm someone’s penis, then don’t bother to develop yourself mentally. If you want men to listen when you talk, then find something intelligent to talk about.
6) We’re working on being better people.
This statement is not congruent with the rest of the article. Getting into debt, having lots of penises inside of you, and waiting until you’re older than 30 to settle down is not an improvement.
7) We want to have sex. Like, a lot.
The more penises you have had inside of you the less marketable you are. There are lots of men that will accept you if you have had sex with one or two men, but the more you have sex the more limited your options are, and the harder it is to keep the knowledge of your behavior from becoming as common as you are.
If you had read the Bible you would know:
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life.
Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
“AND THAT’S WHY I DON’T LIKE THE BIBLE!” you might say…
But in any case, it’s an accurate description of reality. Actions have consequences, and life is not fair. Just because I man can act in a particular fashion does not mean that a woman can act in a similar fashion and achieve the same results.
A man may use a woman who has had many sexual partners for sex, but he seldom will want her for anything more than that. Why? Because such a relationship would be highly risk prone.
In my case, I had no interest in women who had sex even once. One of the reasons why I imported my wife from abroad was so that I could go where no other man had gone before.
8) Being single can actually be awesome.
Being single may be “awesome” at 20, but will it still be awesome at 40, 50, or 60? Will it be awesome when you are a 70 year old woman living all by yourself? Your sex drive will be gone, but you will have no children or grandchildren, and your parents and older family members will all be dead. You will be alone with no legacy, and no hope of having one.
I am not saying this with the intent to ridicule or insult, but to offer advice and help.
“I didn’t ask for your advice! This is sexist!”
And so on and so forth, but the fact of the matter is that, if you are a millenial, you have probably gotten little more than sugar coated validation your entire life, regardless of what it was you did. Truth is medicine, and sugar coating is unnecessary/irrelevant.